I Just Want it To be Over


Me sporting my chucks and jeans at my bachelorette party. “Cause I’m a laaaadddddy.” (in my Shenehneh Jenkins voice)

Can I keep it real with y’all? Wedding planning is for the birds. I can’t lie; I kind of knew this going into it. But I didn’t think it would be that bad. I had been warned. Some of my friends had even suggested some easier ways to consecrate my forever bond with Mr. Creep (my pet name for my love, Tony).  So my decision to proceed with a ceremony all came down to this: I wanted the experience of it all. And I am all about experiences.  Initially, I even thought of taking on the hectic process alone, without a wedding coordinator.  That’s laughable.  If you know me, you know that is a terrible idea.  I’m 95% creative and 5% logistics. Who the hell did I think I was kidding?  I am nothing like those girly girls who have obsessed over the perfect wedding their entire lives. For goodness sake, I wore jeans, black converse and a leather jacket to my bachelorette festivities last weekend. LOL. Every other bride-to-be I bumped into on 6th Street in Austin that night was dressed “the part” with their fishnet stockings, sexy outfits, crazy wigs and four inch pumps. I’m far from a traditional woman or bride. Honestly speaking, there was a time in my life when marriage wasn’t even a thought. I am a clumsy, tomboy who thought I would spend my life immersed in my career, backpacking through several foreign countries and living carefree.  And then, life happened.

So in approximately 56 days, I am going to get all dolled up, let other people pamper me (which is a completely foreign idea to me,) and celebrate my love and future life with friends and family. I just cringed as I typed “56 days” because it is a true reminder that time waits for no one. Geesh. I started planning for this day more than a year ago. And now  it is literally staring me in the face. I am sure my wedding day is going to be awesome in its own way, but it certainly came at a price. I’m not necessarily talking about the money that we spent on it (even though I would love to get all of my money back, lol). For the past year, I have attended boring vendor meetings, pored over tedious contracts, committed hours to working out, spent hours stuffing envelopes, and have given Tony  numerous“death stares” for forgetting to do things I asked him to do a cazillion times. Yes, I used that made-up word “cazillion,” but it is not an exaggeration, lol.  He’s going to read this post and laugh about the stupid arguments we had this year. They were so ridiculous. Like, seriously. Sometimes, I would get so stressed out, I would refuse to do anything pertaining to the wedding for days at a time. I could go on and on about all the crazy experiences I have had planning this day, but in no way am I bashing weddings and telling other women to ditch the idea. No two brides are the same. Planning has kicked my butt. And I am sooo over it. But I would totally do it over  again. Here’s why:

  • There is a silver lining in everything. This process has made me stronger mentally, spiritually and physically.
  • This experience has forced me to trust and rely on my partner and others more. That was uncomfortable because I like to be in control of things. I’m getting better. Sometimes, lol.
  • Weddings and funerals show you who people really are. I’ll stop at that because that’s another post for another day. (rolling eyes)
  • Creating a wedding guest list makes you really evaluate your relationships with others. Ask anyone who has had a wedding, and they will whole-heartedly agree!
  • I became a little more organized through this process. Praise God. It only took 30 years, lol.
  • I have become aware that I need to be a lot more patient with others, especially Tony.
  • And the greatest lesson of this journey comes down to this: my wedding day will not be perfect. But it’s not about the wedding. It’s about the covenant. That’s what we are going to focus on.

I’m actually getting more excited and anxious as the day approaches, which is rare for me. I’m mostly excited because all the planning will be over and I get my life back, lol. That day, I plan to dance like no one is watching. Here’s to crazy dancing, loud signing, cake eating, wine drinking and LOVE. (you have to read this like Dave Chappelle during his Rick James episode). “It’s a Celebration!!!

Truly Yours,


12 thoughts on “I Just Want it To be Over

  1. Beautiful, well written, and oh so true!!! 😍 May God continue to give you direction, patience, and bless you and the one He ordained just for you! Love you Shakey!!! 😘 -LaKeiya

  2. Love this…you should have called for help, you know how organized and particular I am. Lol

    Love you lots!

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