I’d like to resign from adulthood, lol. Is that possible? Life can be so consuming and unforgiving, at times. Is a day off too much to ask? I saw a meme on my Facebook timeline the other day that said, “Who do I speak to about quitting adulthood?” I literally laughed out loud and felt an instant sense of relief that I apparently am not the only one who feels this way. I’m often amused by my 7th-grade students who complain about trivial things such as their parents confiscating their phones or them wishing they could truly make their own choices. I jokingly reply, “It’s sooooo tough to be a 12-year-old, isn’t it?” But I allow them to complain because I was once in their shoes wishing that I could just graduate to being a grown –up. I only wish they knew the reality of what they are asking for (some of their lives have forced them to know) and pray that they will take their time learning and growing up. My nostalgia runs deeps for the days when I didn’t have to pay bills, grocery shop, report to work and such. I didn’t appreciate my childhood when I had it. But life must and will go on, even when we try to escape it and bypass the tough stuff. So how do we make the most of it?
I try, not by my own accord but God’s, to keep my perspectives in line and run the race that I have been assigned. Of course, I struggle because I am human and have an insatiable appetite to want more and to be more. Am I enough? Am I doing enough? These are often questions that taunt us all as we try to find fulfillment in love and life. It’s pretty normal to teeter and totter between being satisfied and reaching the so-called “next level” in life. But why don’t we spend more of our time finding peace in contentment? Why isn’t it enough to have what we already have? For the most part, I think most of us are always on this merry- go- round chasing after satisfaction, instead of simply being OK. I think that is how many of us complicate our lives. It’s a societal complex. Social media reminds us every day to lose more weight, grind harder… be better than great. We strive so hard for more, that we often forget about the present work that must be finished and what’s already in front of us.
Up until sometime last year, I hadn’t fully realized that my quest to be great was causing me to neglect my appreciation of all I had already accomplished. This realization is part of what drove me back to my true calling – writing. Over the years, I’ve dabbled in this and that career because it seemed fun, creative and promising, and I knew that my tenacity and work ethic would allow me to be successful. I wanted to be awesome at everything. But were all those ideas and things really worth exploring? Yes and no. That journey was necessary for me to find my way back. But initially and essentially, I deviated from my path. I was spreading myself too thin when I found interest in so many things. I blame my Attention Deficit Disorder. I diagnosed myself, LOL. It’s awesome to look at my life’s résumé and see how much I’ve done in my 30 years here; however, I am a Jill of all trades – a master of none. I can only imagine what my life would be like had I found gratification in the true gift God has given me and had taken it from there. I probably wouldn’t feel like I’m starting from scratch today, but that’s the reality of my journey. When I began writing and blogging again, I kept saying… I need another degree, a new camera and computer and blah, blah, blah. And as clear as day, I could hear God say, “You have everything you need. Start. I’ve already fully equipped you.” Little by little, I began to clear my plate of the many things I had piled on it. One of those things included taking a break from my life as a hairstylist. It was very hard, but necessary for me to focus back on writing. I’ll never fully retire from it because I truly love it, but I know that it can’t be a priority right now. And thankfully, I finally feel like I can see my way, again.
Of course, I don’t intend to stay a novice blogger and aspiring author for forever. I do have great aspirations to take my writing to a new level, but it starts with me committing to what I’m doing right now and using what I already have. And as I do that, I hope to find fulfillment in all areas of my life: my relationships, my family, my career, and my journey, overall. So I guess that means I also have to learn to deal with all that comes along with being adult. And if I am truly committed to that, I will find comfort in my maturation, no matter how much the growing pains hurt. Ugh. It just sounds so much easier to just be irresponsible and eat tacos all day. Oh well, such is life. LOL. Be blessed, y’all.