Grace and forgiveness are powerful things when it comes to the matters of the heart. I got to witness this first-hand when I walked down the aisle exactly a month ago today. So many things happened that day. I sometimes daydream to try to relive the day and recall all that I can. The laughs and conversations with my friends. The process of getting ready. Talking myself out of being too goofy or trying not to transform into Little Miss Bossy like I usually do. The vows. The cake. The beautiful people we got to share that moment with. That year and a half of wedding planning snowballed into a beautiful day that I will never forget. But out of all that I experienced, what stands out the most is the peace that I had about such a major decision. I was choosing to enter into a new life with a man who has loved, hurt, healed, helped and disappointed me. I have life scars because of him, but he has also helped me to mend the hurt life has thrown my way. On March 19th, I didn’t walk into marriage with rose-colored glasses on. I’ve seen love up close and personal. But the peace that took over me that day cannot be put into words. It was the moment of all moments. It was perfect.
I could literally write a book about my love life with Tony. My husband has seen me through all phases of my maturation and growth up to this point, and vice versa. Our love started at a young age when we were both trying to figure life out, which is a never-ending process… but we were truly green about life and love at the time. We started off strong and then went through some pretty tough patches – ones that eventually broke us and caused us to go our separate ways. And although we loved each other, we made a decision that maybe a life together wasn’t ideal. I laugh at that “decision” because I truly thought I was done with Mr. Warfield. But life has a funny way of making things come full circle. It took us nearly three years to make it back to each other. But we did. Some people view our story as silly. Why did they even go back to one another in the first place? I wouldn’t have taken him/her back if I were them. In the same vein, others view our story as some sort of crazy fairytale. And although everyone has their different views about our relationship, we’ve been careful not to pay attention to what others think. But here’s the truth: our relationship was salvaged because we decided to rely on God to put it back together. It wasn’t easy. We had to truly commit to the process despite our flaws. I cannot tell you how many times we wanted to walk away, but we both stuck it out. One of the most admirable things about my husband is his ability to forgive and extend grace to others who don’t necessarily deserve it. It’s a characteristic that I sort of hated about him at first because I felt like others tried to take advantage of him. I hated it until I realized that he offers that same grace and forgiveness to me … when I mess up… because I am an imperfect wife. He’s teaching me to be more like him. I am grateful that I have someone to sharpen my iron as I sharpen his.
I didn’t share this story to brag. It is a flawed relationship just like any other. I also am not encouraging others to immediately call up their ex boos to rekindle the flame. I shared this to get people to think twice about how quickly we dispose of relationships when they get tough. I wonder what kind of shape some of us would be in if the Lord did the same thing. That’s tough to even imagine. I just want to encourage those who are having a tough time in a relationship or friendship to be truly reflective of what’s wrong. Some things are beyond repair, no doubt. But let’s not get in a habit of abandoning the picnic at the first sight of rain. The tough stuff is how we grow. As for me and my creep, we won’t be taking any more three-year breaks. He is stuck with this quirky, weird, goofy, glasses wearing, snoring bear for the rest of his life. And I’m stuck with the sweetest, silliest, most nerve-wrecking, thuggish- geek. We’re both up for the challenge. One month down. Forever to go.